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You may have learned a lot about Half-Life 2 in the last year, but we here at HL2Fallout don't settle for the official story. We've delved into dusty archives, travelled cross-country and bought off slippery government officials to bring you this startling report: five things you didn't know about Half-Life 2. A reminder to our viewers: this report is most certainly 100% real and true and not meant to be light-hearted in any way. Make sure you click the thumbnails for a full-sized view of the irrefutable evidence.
Won't somebody apply?! |
It's anyone's guess what HL2's mysterious multiplayer might be. Could it simply be the Source conversions? Maybe a spin off of Team Fortress 2?
Turns out, Valve has hit a blank as well. This seemingly innocent ad was featured in a local newspaper last weekend.
At least we know who to blame: Milton Bradley. |
How did Valve get the first release date so far off? An eyewitness recounted the real story to HL2Fallout earlier this week.
In the hours before E3 2003, the Valve offices were in chaos. "We forgot about the release date!" screamed Doug Lombardi, as he stormed into the office of Valve's managing director.
"Well, this sucks," was Gabe's reply.
But as luck would have it, at that very moment that Gabe remembered his backup plan. He deftly grabbed the fateful spinner from under his desk and spun like he had never spun before... Rumour has it that Vivendi uses the same spinner for its release dates.
Gordon's 10 year break. |
Since being hired by the G-Man at the conclusion of the first game, Gordon has had ten years to catch up on a little R&R. Some have speculated our hero has been kept in a deep cryogenic freeze. While he has been rather chilly, our sources report that Mr. Freeman has been far from frozen.
Valve's footcrabs will surely please the fans. |
Everything in Half-Life 2 is a step up from the original — better graphics, smarter AI, bigger maps. But Valve have outdone themselves this time: taking the next evolutionary step for our host-seeking foes with the creation of footcrabs. We've only got this single concept image to go by, but it's easy to see that these nasties will be one of Gordon's most cunning enemies.
$40 mill right there. |
In an interview, Gabe Newell remarked that $40 million dollars had been put into Half-Life 2's development. Where did it all go? The answer is strikingly simple. Many of you would have seen the seemingly insignificant gold crowbar that resides in the Valve offices. What you may not have realised is its actual scale (photos showing other scales are obviously fake).
Judging by its size and purity, we can accurately predict a weight of about 3.17 tons. Calculating at a rough value of $12.62 per gram for the gold, this little piece comes out to a value of $39,999,967.50 leaving Valve approximately $32.50 for HL2. Reportedly, $30 of this went into buying the programmers some pizzas and diet coke on the first day. It just goes to show how far a bunch of dedicated staff can make $2.50 go.
If you happen to come across any other extraordinary facts our researchers have missed, be sure to post them in the comments along with a relevant picture.
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